Let’s Make Satire Great Again!

Just over two years and a few days ago, Donald J Trump announced that he would be running for President of the United States and while in most parts of the world people had hearty laughs about the same, Trump was laser focused on getting into the Oval Office and now hardly a day goes by without the 45th POTUS making headlines all over - we’ll just leave it at headlines, for it would take a wise man to guess whether they’re for the right reasons or wrong. This journey of his from being just another capitalist, ginger businessman to commanding the formidable United States military forces and having as easy an access to the American nuclear arsenal as Indians have to Jio sims, is quite a quick and remarkable one. It kind of reminds one of the popular meme where Will Ferrell can be seen holding a drink and saying, “Well, that escalated quickly” along with that priceless expression.

‘Make America Great Again’, was his famous campaign slogan and kudos to him, he has at least made America famous again! The talk of the town, the centre of most teenagers’ meme machines and the target in many a pubs’ dartboards, seems like Mr President’s path to the Oval Office had led him to countless other places and heads as well. Posing for the camera and participating in photo-ops with other country heads aside, seems like Trump has been much of an actor all this while, having bagged cameos in movies like “Zoolander”, “Sex and the City”, and of course that famous scene in “Home Alone 2” in the massive NY hotel. His eventful pre-White House life does not end at memorable Hollywood cameos; he has also been a hugely successful businessman and real estate mogul. He is the owner of the Trump Organization which was founded by his father, Fred Trump almost a century ago and one that had the best part of ten billion dollars in revenue last year. We can now rest assured that all his White House billed will be paid on time and that his butlers and chefs will have their pockets bulging by the time he leaves office. On that note, it might be only fair to point out that Mr Trump does not take the President’s four hundred grand salary except for a lousy dollar bill every year, because well, in the land of the free and the home of the brave, no man should have to work for free.

While many have questioned his pedigree to run the highest office in the land, no one can question his pedigree in life for he has married three times and has close to half a dozen children. What a player! On the whole players’ things, he also owned a football team which folded no sooner than three seasons under him. Many of his companies have filed for bankruptcy and plenty of lawsuits have also been filed against him. Tough luck, Don! Seems like he has quite a taste for the theatrical as well, having made some bizarre promises to the American people in his campaigning days; the most resounding one being his desire to build a wall across the entire Mexico-US border. That’s right; a WALL. Now this era is neither a video game world nor the Chinese medieval age where emperors could build such monstrous buildings without anyone raising an eyebrow. Mr Trump has certainly got his work cut out in bringing this dream of his to reality. The idea of a “wall” wall may seem a little out of place at first, but there is some darn good reasoning behind it. America, as we all know it, is the land of immigrants; but there is a clear cut line separating honest immigrants from far off countries and illegal aliens trying to sneak in when the government is not looking. That is exactly the problem the US faces with countries like Mexico from where people just cannot seem to stop flooding in and ‘stealing’ jobs and opportunities from hard-working American citizens. How about a stronger border patrol or a more attractive bilateral relationship with the Mexicans, Mr President? Certainly that would be cheaper than constructing ‘The Great Wall of America’! But credit where credit is due, Trump actually signed an executive order in support of the construction of this wall just days after stepping into office. Looks like he is more of a doer, rather than just a talker, unlike most other world leaders who seem to be too afraid of what people may think about them instead of doing their mandate justice.

In other news, Mr Trump also signed a really, really, really bold executive order banning immigrants from eight specific Islamic countries in the gulf. This was welcomed with mass uproar and resentment from majority of the social media and news pundits alike. It just seems as if when extremist groups blow up buildings and people every other day no one bats an eye, but when one bold leader tries to protect his citizens from certain countries whose people are known for violence, everyone simply loses their mind. However, to the cheer of many a good folks in the New World, this order was soon shot down by the US Supreme Court ruling the law as ‘unconstitutional’. It kind of does make sense now, for denying immigrants entry into the land of immigrants does seem a little off. In one of his other unconventional moves, Mr Trump also pulled the US out of the Paris Climate Accords after quite a while of them being the forefront of the pact. He claims that global warming is a Chinese hoax and that the accords have been unfairly burdening the American treasury for far too long. Well good luck to him when the ice caps melt and his odd ginger hair is the first to burn under the searing sun.

All the jokes apart, it might just be about time that we give the man a chance to prove his worth as President and allow him to make America great again, or simply run into the ground and hide his face in embarrassment for a long time to come, and keep the judging until his time is up; for rising up the ranks right up to the Air Force One in such a short span of time is no mean feat. It may also be noted that Donald Trump is the first President who has never held elected office, a high government post or military rank. One-stop shuttle from Wall Street to the White House, anyone? Contact Mr Trump! Future Presidents, learn something! Now that surely does say something about his grit and determination. Some speculate, while others predict with immaculate conviction that he will be impeached within three years at the White House. Bold statements and trains of thought flying everywhere; whatever people may say about him, no one can deny that these are indeed interesting times for the United States and frankly, the whole world. Whether he lives up to all that hype and truly does make ‘America great again’ or whether he just turns out to be another phony who somehow crawled his way through the muck and came out clean like most people claim, only time will tell...

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